When was the last time someone wronged you? How did you react?
Was there something specific that happened, or was the other person unaware of your feelings altogether?
A recent conversation with a loved one prompted me to explore this topic, and I think it’s crucial, not just in our personal lives but in business and relationships, too.
In this case, the person who had wronged someone was completely unaware. They were maybe even ill-equipped to deal with the situation in a way that could have left both people feeling heard and understood.
Unfortunately, what happened was the opposite. one person remained oblivious, while the other was left hurt. No one wins in this situation.
When someone hurts us, our instinct is to react based on how we’ve learned to cope with negative situations. For some, that might be avoidance; for others, it’s overworking, shutting down, stonewalling, lashing out, or engaging in self-destructive behaviors. Over time, these deep-rooted survival mechanisms corrode our ability to have breakthrough moments that set us free from these cycles.
But here’s the thing: not everyone is aware or capable of having the hard conversations that lead to resolution. They might not be equipped to do the right thing.
So, the question becomes: what if it’s up to you to be the leader?
How many of you have shut someone out of your life because they said something that hurt you, but they were completely unaware?
How many of you have assumed someone no longer wants a relationship with you because they’ve disengaged, and you don’t know why?
How many of you have decided to close yourself off from someone who made you feel vulnerable, building walls to protect yourself from future hurt?
How many of you are too scared to tell your boss how you really feel, fearing the response?
The more we live in fear and uncertainty, the more vivid and wild the stories we create in our minds become. It’s what we do. we make assumptions and fill in the blanks.
When someone does something wrong, we automatically assume it’s about us. But what if it’s not? What if it’s about what they’re going through?
Whether you think you're right or wronged, if nothing gets addressed, you both lose.
So, here’s something you might not expect—but it just might surprise both you and the other person: Do something nice.
Yes, really.
Say something you've always wanted to say but couldn't.
Take that person to lunch.
Send them a thoughtful note.
Tell them something you appreciate about them.
Reach out.
Be a little vulnerable. The opposite of vulnerability is fear—fear of hurt, rejection, or uncertainty. But when we choose to be vulnerable, we’re choosing to be courageous. And it’s in those courageous moments that we open the door for something good to come in.
And guess what? Even if it doesn’t turn out the way you hoped, you still win. Why? Because you chose to lead with your heart and act with courage. That alone is a victory in a world that could use more vulnerability and kindness.
So, move beyond the numbness, the protective walls, and the apathy. Start living a little.
I guarantee your relationships will improve, and you’ll feel happier for it.
Always in Motion,
Lauren Hoffman
With the Current Solutions
Lauren is an HR, Leadership, and Performance Coach helping others hit their goals, reach their potential, discover their talents, and navigate waves with ease.
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